How do you keep chess fun when your opponent constantly beats you? Announcing the arrival of Valued Associate #679: Cesar Manara Planned maintenance scheduled April 17/18, 2019 at 00:00UTC (8:00pm US/Eastern) Announcing a Pro Tempore electionDoes the chess community have a problem with manners and sportsmanship?Is allowing takebacks in friendly games a bad practice?Is it ethical to tell your opponent how you are going to checkmate him?What advice would you give a novice in Chess?When you check someone, do you have to say “check”?Moral question about online chess & engine analysisIs it disrespectful to pay attention to other things while playing?How many times should I let my opponent know they forgot to press their clock?How do I respond to an arrogant beginner?Is there any etiquette about how to proceed when a technical problem leads to a misplay in an online game?
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How do you keep chess fun when your opponent constantly beats you?
Announcing the arrival of Valued Associate #679: Cesar Manara
Planned maintenance scheduled April 17/18, 2019 at 00:00UTC (8:00pm US/Eastern)
Announcing a Pro Tempore electionDoes the chess community have a problem with manners and sportsmanship?Is allowing takebacks in friendly games a bad practice?Is it ethical to tell your opponent how you are going to checkmate him?What advice would you give a novice in Chess?When you check someone, do you have to say “check”?Moral question about online chess & engine analysisIs it disrespectful to pay attention to other things while playing?How many times should I let my opponent know they forgot to press their clock?How do I respond to an arrogant beginner?Is there any etiquette about how to proceed when a technical problem leads to a misplay in an online game?
How do you keep chess fun when the only person that wants to play against you beats you all the time? I am struggling to want to keep playing, because I get smashed all the time, and it is not fun anymore.
etiquette
New contributor
add a comment |
How do you keep chess fun when the only person that wants to play against you beats you all the time? I am struggling to want to keep playing, because I get smashed all the time, and it is not fun anymore.
etiquette
New contributor
Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
1
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
4
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
1
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago
add a comment |
How do you keep chess fun when the only person that wants to play against you beats you all the time? I am struggling to want to keep playing, because I get smashed all the time, and it is not fun anymore.
etiquette
New contributor
How do you keep chess fun when the only person that wants to play against you beats you all the time? I am struggling to want to keep playing, because I get smashed all the time, and it is not fun anymore.
etiquette
etiquette
New contributor
New contributor
edited Apr 11 at 22:31
Brian Towers
16.9k33173
16.9k33173
New contributor
asked Apr 11 at 20:00
Tina DolcettiTina Dolcetti
15123
15123
New contributor
New contributor
Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
1
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
4
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
1
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago
add a comment |
Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
1
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
4
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
1
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago
Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
1
1
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
4
4
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
1
1
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago
add a comment |
11 Answers
11
active
oldest
votes
There are many people who want to play chess with you. You can play chess online! Online sites such as chess.com and lichess.org will match you with opponents of similar rating so you should win about 50 percent of the time. Furthermore, playing online as well as studying chess will immensely improve your chess, and maybe you'll play your friend again and this time you will win!
add a comment |
There are lots of ways to play with a handicap in chess. One way is to give one player a starting material advantage, where the weaker player starts with an extra queen, or the stronger player replaces their queen with a bishop/rook, or starts with some of their pawns missing - anything that weakens one player's starting position can be used to even the odds. Another means of handicapping can be used in timed games, where the stronger player has a shorter clock than the weaker one, so can spend less time thinking about their moves.
New contributor
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
add a comment |
If you can change your attitude from this being a competition that you are "losing" to this being a tutorial, that should help a lot. Every time you play a game, you get more famailiar with lines and their responses. Consider each move to be a question (what sort of responses are this to this move?) rather than a challenge.
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
add a comment |
Getting beat should not deter you from having fun, there's an element of purity to chess logic, a bit similar to that of learning mathematics, there is a peaceful quiet beauty to it. Think of it as there being something to learn in every game you play regardless of the outcome, shift your mindset onto better understanding the game and how to reason about it as opposed to beating a specific player.
Diversify your opponents, for example start playing online blitz/rapid games on lichess, quickly your rating will settle and your average opponent will be at the same level as you currently are, which will naturally lead to more balanced games. Like anything else, the competitive element should only be of major relevance if one intends to take the game to a professional level. Speaking of which, there's a very good related movie called "Innocent moves" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer", which you might find interesting: without spoiling, it's about a kid who discovers chess in a park and develops a strong sense of curiosity and passion for the game, who also happens to have a natural ability for it, but soon starts to have conflicting thoughts about it as soon as it becomes competitive: where it's expected of him to become the best, to beat everyone, to ceaselessly improve and to never fail, in other words they turn chess into another mindless responsibility for the kid in which he has to succeed as opposed to simply playing chess for the sheer fun of it, which should be the only point to playing any game.
Other than playing online, consider just getting into the habit of solving chess tactics where you have to find the best moves, treat it as any other puzzle game: there's no opponent and you'd simply be trying to get better at solving puzzles by discovering more about chess strategy and the art of coordinating your pieces in order to achieve specific objectives: checkmating, winning a piece, securing a draw, etc. The better you get at it the higher the gratification. There are various website you can start from: lichess, chesstempo, chess24.
You might also find it fun and instructive to watch chess lectures: in particular, Yasser Seirawan lectures tend to be quite fun and easy to go through, not only he provides a lot of insight and reveals a lot of the reasoning that goes into each move of a chosen game, he complements with a lot of lighter moments with his fun anecdotes. For example, his coverage of one of the 1972 Spassky-Fischer games, or the famous miniature games, ... there are many to choose from.
add a comment |
In regular tournaments both players write the moves down and play with clocks to make sure both players have the same amount of time for their moves. It is normal after the game for the players to analyze the game. They can do this easily because they have written the moves down. When I lose in a tournament I almost always ask my opponent of they would like to go over the game with me. Even if I "got smashed" this makes it much more interesting for me and I always learn something. Most opponents are friendly and helpful and will agree to do this.
To make the games more even the best way is to use the clocks. Start by giving both players 10 minutes each on the clocks. In subsequent games the loser gets another minute and the winner gets one minute less. If you reach 9 minutes versus 1 minute and still lose then go to 9 minutes 30 seconds vs 30 seconds, then 9 min 45 vs 15 seconds etc. Sooner or later you will come to a stage where you take it in turns to win.
add a comment |
This question transcends chess I think.
In any game/sport, there are people who are better than you and those that are worse. You can learn a lot by losing, way more than you can learn by winning against easy opponents.
Analyze your games. Ask why your opponent made moves he made that you didn't see when you were playing with them. Get better.
My local chess club is small and I am the strongest of the bunch. It's much less fun to win all the time and learn nothing from it. Losing and learning from those losses is a quality problem to have.
New contributor
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Honestly, it is not fun at all if you feel you can and will never win. Losing sometimes is fine, but losing all the time is extremely frustrating.
I think you can make it more fun by doing a few things:
1. Make it a goal to improve your chess.
Solving tactics puzzles can be fun and feel rewarding to solve. They also improve your chess. If you improve, you can reach the point where you are able to win sometimes against your opponent. It is much more fun to play chess when you feel you have a chance to win. You can improve a lot by learning to see simple tactics quickly and by being mindful of undefended pieces (yours and your opponent's).
2. Go over your games with your opponent.
This will give you some perspective that will help you understand where you are making mistakes. You may find that you make the same sort of mistakes often. You can identify the issues and know where you need to focus to improve. In this way it plays into point 1 by helping you improve. It also gives you a chance to enjoy a chess activity with your opponent without feeling the stress of making a mistake like in a game. You can walk through the game and discuss what-ifs and even play them out a bit. You sort of turn chess into a cooperative game for a time when you are walking through a game together.
3. Play a larger variety of opponents.
You can play online at various websites against players of similar skill. The rating system is great because you can be matched with an opponent that you can beat, but who can also potentially beat you. I find that this tension makes chess much more fun. This will give you other exposure to chess where you feel you can win. It may make you feel less frustrated playing against a player you are not likely to beat. You won't feel that you lose every game anymore so it can be easier to brush off those loses.
New contributor
add a comment |
Here's what I used to do while instructing the kids (usually the weaker player) in our local chess club: We would play a normal game of chess under standard rules, but the weaker player could request to swap colors at any time during the game. Like this, the stronger player gets a real challenge too. After the first switch, he's busy trying to regain the advantage he had over you a few moments ago.
The weaker player trains to detect when his position gets "really bad" and he is about to get checkmated soon.
Overall, the games run for a longer time like this, which may resolve some of the frustration that you seem to experience. Have fun and continue playing!
New contributor
add a comment |
I noticed one thing playing chess: I adjust my level to my opponent's level.
If I play against a weak player, I play weak too.
Against a strong player I play better.
I don't know what the reason for this is, maybe because I lose interest playing against a weak opponent.
So, I prefer to play against strong players even if I lose.
New contributor
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Sir, when you loose you learn many new lines, variations, tactics etc. and improve your database of knowledge which definitely helps to beat others in the game.
add a comment |
Don't play with that opponent :)
That or ask for piece/clock odds, but they'd have to agree.
add a comment |
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11 Answers
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There are many people who want to play chess with you. You can play chess online! Online sites such as chess.com and lichess.org will match you with opponents of similar rating so you should win about 50 percent of the time. Furthermore, playing online as well as studying chess will immensely improve your chess, and maybe you'll play your friend again and this time you will win!
add a comment |
There are many people who want to play chess with you. You can play chess online! Online sites such as chess.com and lichess.org will match you with opponents of similar rating so you should win about 50 percent of the time. Furthermore, playing online as well as studying chess will immensely improve your chess, and maybe you'll play your friend again and this time you will win!
add a comment |
There are many people who want to play chess with you. You can play chess online! Online sites such as chess.com and lichess.org will match you with opponents of similar rating so you should win about 50 percent of the time. Furthermore, playing online as well as studying chess will immensely improve your chess, and maybe you'll play your friend again and this time you will win!
There are many people who want to play chess with you. You can play chess online! Online sites such as chess.com and lichess.org will match you with opponents of similar rating so you should win about 50 percent of the time. Furthermore, playing online as well as studying chess will immensely improve your chess, and maybe you'll play your friend again and this time you will win!
answered Apr 11 at 20:16
CognisMantisCognisMantis
2,063823
2,063823
add a comment |
add a comment |
There are lots of ways to play with a handicap in chess. One way is to give one player a starting material advantage, where the weaker player starts with an extra queen, or the stronger player replaces their queen with a bishop/rook, or starts with some of their pawns missing - anything that weakens one player's starting position can be used to even the odds. Another means of handicapping can be used in timed games, where the stronger player has a shorter clock than the weaker one, so can spend less time thinking about their moves.
New contributor
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
add a comment |
There are lots of ways to play with a handicap in chess. One way is to give one player a starting material advantage, where the weaker player starts with an extra queen, or the stronger player replaces their queen with a bishop/rook, or starts with some of their pawns missing - anything that weakens one player's starting position can be used to even the odds. Another means of handicapping can be used in timed games, where the stronger player has a shorter clock than the weaker one, so can spend less time thinking about their moves.
New contributor
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
add a comment |
There are lots of ways to play with a handicap in chess. One way is to give one player a starting material advantage, where the weaker player starts with an extra queen, or the stronger player replaces their queen with a bishop/rook, or starts with some of their pawns missing - anything that weakens one player's starting position can be used to even the odds. Another means of handicapping can be used in timed games, where the stronger player has a shorter clock than the weaker one, so can spend less time thinking about their moves.
New contributor
There are lots of ways to play with a handicap in chess. One way is to give one player a starting material advantage, where the weaker player starts with an extra queen, or the stronger player replaces their queen with a bishop/rook, or starts with some of their pawns missing - anything that weakens one player's starting position can be used to even the odds. Another means of handicapping can be used in timed games, where the stronger player has a shorter clock than the weaker one, so can spend less time thinking about their moves.
New contributor
New contributor
answered Apr 11 at 21:01
Nuclear WangNuclear Wang
38922
38922
New contributor
New contributor
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
add a comment |
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
3
3
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
Clock variants are a lot of fun! In high school there was one really good player so we'd have him play a one minute clock while the rest of us had 2-5 minutes depending on who
– Adam Martin
Apr 12 at 1:20
1
1
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
though many people do not like playing with handicaps because it's embarrassing when they lose and unrewarding when they win...
– CognisMantis
Apr 12 at 19:41
add a comment |
If you can change your attitude from this being a competition that you are "losing" to this being a tutorial, that should help a lot. Every time you play a game, you get more famailiar with lines and their responses. Consider each move to be a question (what sort of responses are this to this move?) rather than a challenge.
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
add a comment |
If you can change your attitude from this being a competition that you are "losing" to this being a tutorial, that should help a lot. Every time you play a game, you get more famailiar with lines and their responses. Consider each move to be a question (what sort of responses are this to this move?) rather than a challenge.
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
add a comment |
If you can change your attitude from this being a competition that you are "losing" to this being a tutorial, that should help a lot. Every time you play a game, you get more famailiar with lines and their responses. Consider each move to be a question (what sort of responses are this to this move?) rather than a challenge.
If you can change your attitude from this being a competition that you are "losing" to this being a tutorial, that should help a lot. Every time you play a game, you get more famailiar with lines and their responses. Consider each move to be a question (what sort of responses are this to this move?) rather than a challenge.
answered Apr 11 at 21:48
AcccumulationAcccumulation
51115
51115
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
add a comment |
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
1
1
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
This is my favourite answer because the most important issue that stems from the question isn't that OP has trouble finding others to play with (as most answers here address) but that he considers losing to always be a bad thing and less fun.
– Parrotmaster
Apr 12 at 14:05
1
1
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
@Parrotmaster More precisely, he says he gets smashed every time. Losing after a good fight is fun, but being beaten so badly that you don't even know why you lost isn't. The OP might find it useful to ask their friend to explain where the big mistakes were made and what they might have done instead. This is particularly easy if you're playing using a program that permits rewinding the state to look at how the game went. I did that with a friend I used to play with regularly (and usually lost to, but after a good fight), and it both helped me improve and was entertaining in its own right.
– Ray
Apr 12 at 17:28
add a comment |
Getting beat should not deter you from having fun, there's an element of purity to chess logic, a bit similar to that of learning mathematics, there is a peaceful quiet beauty to it. Think of it as there being something to learn in every game you play regardless of the outcome, shift your mindset onto better understanding the game and how to reason about it as opposed to beating a specific player.
Diversify your opponents, for example start playing online blitz/rapid games on lichess, quickly your rating will settle and your average opponent will be at the same level as you currently are, which will naturally lead to more balanced games. Like anything else, the competitive element should only be of major relevance if one intends to take the game to a professional level. Speaking of which, there's a very good related movie called "Innocent moves" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer", which you might find interesting: without spoiling, it's about a kid who discovers chess in a park and develops a strong sense of curiosity and passion for the game, who also happens to have a natural ability for it, but soon starts to have conflicting thoughts about it as soon as it becomes competitive: where it's expected of him to become the best, to beat everyone, to ceaselessly improve and to never fail, in other words they turn chess into another mindless responsibility for the kid in which he has to succeed as opposed to simply playing chess for the sheer fun of it, which should be the only point to playing any game.
Other than playing online, consider just getting into the habit of solving chess tactics where you have to find the best moves, treat it as any other puzzle game: there's no opponent and you'd simply be trying to get better at solving puzzles by discovering more about chess strategy and the art of coordinating your pieces in order to achieve specific objectives: checkmating, winning a piece, securing a draw, etc. The better you get at it the higher the gratification. There are various website you can start from: lichess, chesstempo, chess24.
You might also find it fun and instructive to watch chess lectures: in particular, Yasser Seirawan lectures tend to be quite fun and easy to go through, not only he provides a lot of insight and reveals a lot of the reasoning that goes into each move of a chosen game, he complements with a lot of lighter moments with his fun anecdotes. For example, his coverage of one of the 1972 Spassky-Fischer games, or the famous miniature games, ... there are many to choose from.
add a comment |
Getting beat should not deter you from having fun, there's an element of purity to chess logic, a bit similar to that of learning mathematics, there is a peaceful quiet beauty to it. Think of it as there being something to learn in every game you play regardless of the outcome, shift your mindset onto better understanding the game and how to reason about it as opposed to beating a specific player.
Diversify your opponents, for example start playing online blitz/rapid games on lichess, quickly your rating will settle and your average opponent will be at the same level as you currently are, which will naturally lead to more balanced games. Like anything else, the competitive element should only be of major relevance if one intends to take the game to a professional level. Speaking of which, there's a very good related movie called "Innocent moves" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer", which you might find interesting: without spoiling, it's about a kid who discovers chess in a park and develops a strong sense of curiosity and passion for the game, who also happens to have a natural ability for it, but soon starts to have conflicting thoughts about it as soon as it becomes competitive: where it's expected of him to become the best, to beat everyone, to ceaselessly improve and to never fail, in other words they turn chess into another mindless responsibility for the kid in which he has to succeed as opposed to simply playing chess for the sheer fun of it, which should be the only point to playing any game.
Other than playing online, consider just getting into the habit of solving chess tactics where you have to find the best moves, treat it as any other puzzle game: there's no opponent and you'd simply be trying to get better at solving puzzles by discovering more about chess strategy and the art of coordinating your pieces in order to achieve specific objectives: checkmating, winning a piece, securing a draw, etc. The better you get at it the higher the gratification. There are various website you can start from: lichess, chesstempo, chess24.
You might also find it fun and instructive to watch chess lectures: in particular, Yasser Seirawan lectures tend to be quite fun and easy to go through, not only he provides a lot of insight and reveals a lot of the reasoning that goes into each move of a chosen game, he complements with a lot of lighter moments with his fun anecdotes. For example, his coverage of one of the 1972 Spassky-Fischer games, or the famous miniature games, ... there are many to choose from.
add a comment |
Getting beat should not deter you from having fun, there's an element of purity to chess logic, a bit similar to that of learning mathematics, there is a peaceful quiet beauty to it. Think of it as there being something to learn in every game you play regardless of the outcome, shift your mindset onto better understanding the game and how to reason about it as opposed to beating a specific player.
Diversify your opponents, for example start playing online blitz/rapid games on lichess, quickly your rating will settle and your average opponent will be at the same level as you currently are, which will naturally lead to more balanced games. Like anything else, the competitive element should only be of major relevance if one intends to take the game to a professional level. Speaking of which, there's a very good related movie called "Innocent moves" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer", which you might find interesting: without spoiling, it's about a kid who discovers chess in a park and develops a strong sense of curiosity and passion for the game, who also happens to have a natural ability for it, but soon starts to have conflicting thoughts about it as soon as it becomes competitive: where it's expected of him to become the best, to beat everyone, to ceaselessly improve and to never fail, in other words they turn chess into another mindless responsibility for the kid in which he has to succeed as opposed to simply playing chess for the sheer fun of it, which should be the only point to playing any game.
Other than playing online, consider just getting into the habit of solving chess tactics where you have to find the best moves, treat it as any other puzzle game: there's no opponent and you'd simply be trying to get better at solving puzzles by discovering more about chess strategy and the art of coordinating your pieces in order to achieve specific objectives: checkmating, winning a piece, securing a draw, etc. The better you get at it the higher the gratification. There are various website you can start from: lichess, chesstempo, chess24.
You might also find it fun and instructive to watch chess lectures: in particular, Yasser Seirawan lectures tend to be quite fun and easy to go through, not only he provides a lot of insight and reveals a lot of the reasoning that goes into each move of a chosen game, he complements with a lot of lighter moments with his fun anecdotes. For example, his coverage of one of the 1972 Spassky-Fischer games, or the famous miniature games, ... there are many to choose from.
Getting beat should not deter you from having fun, there's an element of purity to chess logic, a bit similar to that of learning mathematics, there is a peaceful quiet beauty to it. Think of it as there being something to learn in every game you play regardless of the outcome, shift your mindset onto better understanding the game and how to reason about it as opposed to beating a specific player.
Diversify your opponents, for example start playing online blitz/rapid games on lichess, quickly your rating will settle and your average opponent will be at the same level as you currently are, which will naturally lead to more balanced games. Like anything else, the competitive element should only be of major relevance if one intends to take the game to a professional level. Speaking of which, there's a very good related movie called "Innocent moves" or "Searching for Bobby Fischer", which you might find interesting: without spoiling, it's about a kid who discovers chess in a park and develops a strong sense of curiosity and passion for the game, who also happens to have a natural ability for it, but soon starts to have conflicting thoughts about it as soon as it becomes competitive: where it's expected of him to become the best, to beat everyone, to ceaselessly improve and to never fail, in other words they turn chess into another mindless responsibility for the kid in which he has to succeed as opposed to simply playing chess for the sheer fun of it, which should be the only point to playing any game.
Other than playing online, consider just getting into the habit of solving chess tactics where you have to find the best moves, treat it as any other puzzle game: there's no opponent and you'd simply be trying to get better at solving puzzles by discovering more about chess strategy and the art of coordinating your pieces in order to achieve specific objectives: checkmating, winning a piece, securing a draw, etc. The better you get at it the higher the gratification. There are various website you can start from: lichess, chesstempo, chess24.
You might also find it fun and instructive to watch chess lectures: in particular, Yasser Seirawan lectures tend to be quite fun and easy to go through, not only he provides a lot of insight and reveals a lot of the reasoning that goes into each move of a chosen game, he complements with a lot of lighter moments with his fun anecdotes. For example, his coverage of one of the 1972 Spassky-Fischer games, or the famous miniature games, ... there are many to choose from.
answered Apr 11 at 20:53
PhononPhonon
5,9231539
5,9231539
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In regular tournaments both players write the moves down and play with clocks to make sure both players have the same amount of time for their moves. It is normal after the game for the players to analyze the game. They can do this easily because they have written the moves down. When I lose in a tournament I almost always ask my opponent of they would like to go over the game with me. Even if I "got smashed" this makes it much more interesting for me and I always learn something. Most opponents are friendly and helpful and will agree to do this.
To make the games more even the best way is to use the clocks. Start by giving both players 10 minutes each on the clocks. In subsequent games the loser gets another minute and the winner gets one minute less. If you reach 9 minutes versus 1 minute and still lose then go to 9 minutes 30 seconds vs 30 seconds, then 9 min 45 vs 15 seconds etc. Sooner or later you will come to a stage where you take it in turns to win.
add a comment |
In regular tournaments both players write the moves down and play with clocks to make sure both players have the same amount of time for their moves. It is normal after the game for the players to analyze the game. They can do this easily because they have written the moves down. When I lose in a tournament I almost always ask my opponent of they would like to go over the game with me. Even if I "got smashed" this makes it much more interesting for me and I always learn something. Most opponents are friendly and helpful and will agree to do this.
To make the games more even the best way is to use the clocks. Start by giving both players 10 minutes each on the clocks. In subsequent games the loser gets another minute and the winner gets one minute less. If you reach 9 minutes versus 1 minute and still lose then go to 9 minutes 30 seconds vs 30 seconds, then 9 min 45 vs 15 seconds etc. Sooner or later you will come to a stage where you take it in turns to win.
add a comment |
In regular tournaments both players write the moves down and play with clocks to make sure both players have the same amount of time for their moves. It is normal after the game for the players to analyze the game. They can do this easily because they have written the moves down. When I lose in a tournament I almost always ask my opponent of they would like to go over the game with me. Even if I "got smashed" this makes it much more interesting for me and I always learn something. Most opponents are friendly and helpful and will agree to do this.
To make the games more even the best way is to use the clocks. Start by giving both players 10 minutes each on the clocks. In subsequent games the loser gets another minute and the winner gets one minute less. If you reach 9 minutes versus 1 minute and still lose then go to 9 minutes 30 seconds vs 30 seconds, then 9 min 45 vs 15 seconds etc. Sooner or later you will come to a stage where you take it in turns to win.
In regular tournaments both players write the moves down and play with clocks to make sure both players have the same amount of time for their moves. It is normal after the game for the players to analyze the game. They can do this easily because they have written the moves down. When I lose in a tournament I almost always ask my opponent of they would like to go over the game with me. Even if I "got smashed" this makes it much more interesting for me and I always learn something. Most opponents are friendly and helpful and will agree to do this.
To make the games more even the best way is to use the clocks. Start by giving both players 10 minutes each on the clocks. In subsequent games the loser gets another minute and the winner gets one minute less. If you reach 9 minutes versus 1 minute and still lose then go to 9 minutes 30 seconds vs 30 seconds, then 9 min 45 vs 15 seconds etc. Sooner or later you will come to a stage where you take it in turns to win.
answered Apr 11 at 22:39
Brian TowersBrian Towers
16.9k33173
16.9k33173
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This question transcends chess I think.
In any game/sport, there are people who are better than you and those that are worse. You can learn a lot by losing, way more than you can learn by winning against easy opponents.
Analyze your games. Ask why your opponent made moves he made that you didn't see when you were playing with them. Get better.
My local chess club is small and I am the strongest of the bunch. It's much less fun to win all the time and learn nothing from it. Losing and learning from those losses is a quality problem to have.
New contributor
add a comment |
This question transcends chess I think.
In any game/sport, there are people who are better than you and those that are worse. You can learn a lot by losing, way more than you can learn by winning against easy opponents.
Analyze your games. Ask why your opponent made moves he made that you didn't see when you were playing with them. Get better.
My local chess club is small and I am the strongest of the bunch. It's much less fun to win all the time and learn nothing from it. Losing and learning from those losses is a quality problem to have.
New contributor
add a comment |
This question transcends chess I think.
In any game/sport, there are people who are better than you and those that are worse. You can learn a lot by losing, way more than you can learn by winning against easy opponents.
Analyze your games. Ask why your opponent made moves he made that you didn't see when you were playing with them. Get better.
My local chess club is small and I am the strongest of the bunch. It's much less fun to win all the time and learn nothing from it. Losing and learning from those losses is a quality problem to have.
New contributor
This question transcends chess I think.
In any game/sport, there are people who are better than you and those that are worse. You can learn a lot by losing, way more than you can learn by winning against easy opponents.
Analyze your games. Ask why your opponent made moves he made that you didn't see when you were playing with them. Get better.
My local chess club is small and I am the strongest of the bunch. It's much less fun to win all the time and learn nothing from it. Losing and learning from those losses is a quality problem to have.
New contributor
New contributor
answered Apr 12 at 14:49
Kaiwen ChenKaiwen Chen
312
312
New contributor
New contributor
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Honestly, it is not fun at all if you feel you can and will never win. Losing sometimes is fine, but losing all the time is extremely frustrating.
I think you can make it more fun by doing a few things:
1. Make it a goal to improve your chess.
Solving tactics puzzles can be fun and feel rewarding to solve. They also improve your chess. If you improve, you can reach the point where you are able to win sometimes against your opponent. It is much more fun to play chess when you feel you have a chance to win. You can improve a lot by learning to see simple tactics quickly and by being mindful of undefended pieces (yours and your opponent's).
2. Go over your games with your opponent.
This will give you some perspective that will help you understand where you are making mistakes. You may find that you make the same sort of mistakes often. You can identify the issues and know where you need to focus to improve. In this way it plays into point 1 by helping you improve. It also gives you a chance to enjoy a chess activity with your opponent without feeling the stress of making a mistake like in a game. You can walk through the game and discuss what-ifs and even play them out a bit. You sort of turn chess into a cooperative game for a time when you are walking through a game together.
3. Play a larger variety of opponents.
You can play online at various websites against players of similar skill. The rating system is great because you can be matched with an opponent that you can beat, but who can also potentially beat you. I find that this tension makes chess much more fun. This will give you other exposure to chess where you feel you can win. It may make you feel less frustrated playing against a player you are not likely to beat. You won't feel that you lose every game anymore so it can be easier to brush off those loses.
New contributor
add a comment |
Honestly, it is not fun at all if you feel you can and will never win. Losing sometimes is fine, but losing all the time is extremely frustrating.
I think you can make it more fun by doing a few things:
1. Make it a goal to improve your chess.
Solving tactics puzzles can be fun and feel rewarding to solve. They also improve your chess. If you improve, you can reach the point where you are able to win sometimes against your opponent. It is much more fun to play chess when you feel you have a chance to win. You can improve a lot by learning to see simple tactics quickly and by being mindful of undefended pieces (yours and your opponent's).
2. Go over your games with your opponent.
This will give you some perspective that will help you understand where you are making mistakes. You may find that you make the same sort of mistakes often. You can identify the issues and know where you need to focus to improve. In this way it plays into point 1 by helping you improve. It also gives you a chance to enjoy a chess activity with your opponent without feeling the stress of making a mistake like in a game. You can walk through the game and discuss what-ifs and even play them out a bit. You sort of turn chess into a cooperative game for a time when you are walking through a game together.
3. Play a larger variety of opponents.
You can play online at various websites against players of similar skill. The rating system is great because you can be matched with an opponent that you can beat, but who can also potentially beat you. I find that this tension makes chess much more fun. This will give you other exposure to chess where you feel you can win. It may make you feel less frustrated playing against a player you are not likely to beat. You won't feel that you lose every game anymore so it can be easier to brush off those loses.
New contributor
add a comment |
Honestly, it is not fun at all if you feel you can and will never win. Losing sometimes is fine, but losing all the time is extremely frustrating.
I think you can make it more fun by doing a few things:
1. Make it a goal to improve your chess.
Solving tactics puzzles can be fun and feel rewarding to solve. They also improve your chess. If you improve, you can reach the point where you are able to win sometimes against your opponent. It is much more fun to play chess when you feel you have a chance to win. You can improve a lot by learning to see simple tactics quickly and by being mindful of undefended pieces (yours and your opponent's).
2. Go over your games with your opponent.
This will give you some perspective that will help you understand where you are making mistakes. You may find that you make the same sort of mistakes often. You can identify the issues and know where you need to focus to improve. In this way it plays into point 1 by helping you improve. It also gives you a chance to enjoy a chess activity with your opponent without feeling the stress of making a mistake like in a game. You can walk through the game and discuss what-ifs and even play them out a bit. You sort of turn chess into a cooperative game for a time when you are walking through a game together.
3. Play a larger variety of opponents.
You can play online at various websites against players of similar skill. The rating system is great because you can be matched with an opponent that you can beat, but who can also potentially beat you. I find that this tension makes chess much more fun. This will give you other exposure to chess where you feel you can win. It may make you feel less frustrated playing against a player you are not likely to beat. You won't feel that you lose every game anymore so it can be easier to brush off those loses.
New contributor
Honestly, it is not fun at all if you feel you can and will never win. Losing sometimes is fine, but losing all the time is extremely frustrating.
I think you can make it more fun by doing a few things:
1. Make it a goal to improve your chess.
Solving tactics puzzles can be fun and feel rewarding to solve. They also improve your chess. If you improve, you can reach the point where you are able to win sometimes against your opponent. It is much more fun to play chess when you feel you have a chance to win. You can improve a lot by learning to see simple tactics quickly and by being mindful of undefended pieces (yours and your opponent's).
2. Go over your games with your opponent.
This will give you some perspective that will help you understand where you are making mistakes. You may find that you make the same sort of mistakes often. You can identify the issues and know where you need to focus to improve. In this way it plays into point 1 by helping you improve. It also gives you a chance to enjoy a chess activity with your opponent without feeling the stress of making a mistake like in a game. You can walk through the game and discuss what-ifs and even play them out a bit. You sort of turn chess into a cooperative game for a time when you are walking through a game together.
3. Play a larger variety of opponents.
You can play online at various websites against players of similar skill. The rating system is great because you can be matched with an opponent that you can beat, but who can also potentially beat you. I find that this tension makes chess much more fun. This will give you other exposure to chess where you feel you can win. It may make you feel less frustrated playing against a player you are not likely to beat. You won't feel that you lose every game anymore so it can be easier to brush off those loses.
New contributor
New contributor
answered Apr 12 at 20:07
NickNick
312
312
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Here's what I used to do while instructing the kids (usually the weaker player) in our local chess club: We would play a normal game of chess under standard rules, but the weaker player could request to swap colors at any time during the game. Like this, the stronger player gets a real challenge too. After the first switch, he's busy trying to regain the advantage he had over you a few moments ago.
The weaker player trains to detect when his position gets "really bad" and he is about to get checkmated soon.
Overall, the games run for a longer time like this, which may resolve some of the frustration that you seem to experience. Have fun and continue playing!
New contributor
add a comment |
Here's what I used to do while instructing the kids (usually the weaker player) in our local chess club: We would play a normal game of chess under standard rules, but the weaker player could request to swap colors at any time during the game. Like this, the stronger player gets a real challenge too. After the first switch, he's busy trying to regain the advantage he had over you a few moments ago.
The weaker player trains to detect when his position gets "really bad" and he is about to get checkmated soon.
Overall, the games run for a longer time like this, which may resolve some of the frustration that you seem to experience. Have fun and continue playing!
New contributor
add a comment |
Here's what I used to do while instructing the kids (usually the weaker player) in our local chess club: We would play a normal game of chess under standard rules, but the weaker player could request to swap colors at any time during the game. Like this, the stronger player gets a real challenge too. After the first switch, he's busy trying to regain the advantage he had over you a few moments ago.
The weaker player trains to detect when his position gets "really bad" and he is about to get checkmated soon.
Overall, the games run for a longer time like this, which may resolve some of the frustration that you seem to experience. Have fun and continue playing!
New contributor
Here's what I used to do while instructing the kids (usually the weaker player) in our local chess club: We would play a normal game of chess under standard rules, but the weaker player could request to swap colors at any time during the game. Like this, the stronger player gets a real challenge too. After the first switch, he's busy trying to regain the advantage he had over you a few moments ago.
The weaker player trains to detect when his position gets "really bad" and he is about to get checkmated soon.
Overall, the games run for a longer time like this, which may resolve some of the frustration that you seem to experience. Have fun and continue playing!
New contributor
New contributor
answered Apr 12 at 11:38
dirkbaechledirkbaechle
1112
1112
New contributor
New contributor
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I noticed one thing playing chess: I adjust my level to my opponent's level.
If I play against a weak player, I play weak too.
Against a strong player I play better.
I don't know what the reason for this is, maybe because I lose interest playing against a weak opponent.
So, I prefer to play against strong players even if I lose.
New contributor
add a comment |
I noticed one thing playing chess: I adjust my level to my opponent's level.
If I play against a weak player, I play weak too.
Against a strong player I play better.
I don't know what the reason for this is, maybe because I lose interest playing against a weak opponent.
So, I prefer to play against strong players even if I lose.
New contributor
add a comment |
I noticed one thing playing chess: I adjust my level to my opponent's level.
If I play against a weak player, I play weak too.
Against a strong player I play better.
I don't know what the reason for this is, maybe because I lose interest playing against a weak opponent.
So, I prefer to play against strong players even if I lose.
New contributor
I noticed one thing playing chess: I adjust my level to my opponent's level.
If I play against a weak player, I play weak too.
Against a strong player I play better.
I don't know what the reason for this is, maybe because I lose interest playing against a weak opponent.
So, I prefer to play against strong players even if I lose.
New contributor
edited Apr 12 at 21:23
Brian Towers
16.9k33173
16.9k33173
New contributor
answered Apr 12 at 15:47
AlexanAlexan
1012
1012
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Sir, when you loose you learn many new lines, variations, tactics etc. and improve your database of knowledge which definitely helps to beat others in the game.
add a comment |
Sir, when you loose you learn many new lines, variations, tactics etc. and improve your database of knowledge which definitely helps to beat others in the game.
add a comment |
Sir, when you loose you learn many new lines, variations, tactics etc. and improve your database of knowledge which definitely helps to beat others in the game.
Sir, when you loose you learn many new lines, variations, tactics etc. and improve your database of knowledge which definitely helps to beat others in the game.
answered 2 days ago
Club PlayerClub Player
1768
1768
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Don't play with that opponent :)
That or ask for piece/clock odds, but they'd have to agree.
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Don't play with that opponent :)
That or ask for piece/clock odds, but they'd have to agree.
add a comment |
Don't play with that opponent :)
That or ask for piece/clock odds, but they'd have to agree.
Don't play with that opponent :)
That or ask for piece/clock odds, but they'd have to agree.
answered 41 mins ago
Inertial IgnoranceInertial Ignorance
5,272513
5,272513
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Nice question that I seek answer from the other point of view as I always play IRL with beginners that tends to not want to play anymore after a couple of defeats.
– Puck
Apr 12 at 7:54
1
Just train more :-) There are programs that play at different levels not by making silly mistakes but by "setting you up" in a position that you have to recognize to make the best move and get an advantage. I personally like Fritz but Shredder is also good.
– ChatterOne
Apr 12 at 12:06
4
Play with someone else maybe?
– Tom
Apr 12 at 13:48
1
One variant I like is for the strong player to play blindfolded and just call out his moves while the weak player physically manipulates the board. This gives the weak player the chance to take advantage of his opponent's mistakes. Another is that, until the strong player declares, "checkmate in X moves," the weak player can choose to switch sides with his opponent - and it is declared a win for the weak player if he can survive for longer than X moves after this declaration. This gives the weak player the chance to experience play from a position of strength.
– Aoeuid
2 days ago
I used to play against a stronger player. If I made a really obvious mistake mid-game, after taking my piece he would let us rewind the board. After a check-mate he would sometimes suggest we rewind and look for alternative moves. Occasionally after such a rewind we would switch sides. When I stopped making obvious mistakes, we played full games. This was more fun for both of us!
– joeytwiddle
4 hours ago